It has been 4 years ...

... since Abah left us. Bro H was barely 2 years old back then and Sis A was one. But we managed, somehow.  Al-Fatihah.

Hana's Engagement

Fuh, Mama is so glad to see everything here is still where they are supposed to be. After Mama read that a fellow blogger's blog, Al Manar was removed, Mama had quite a scare. After all, it has been nearly a month since Mama wrote anything here.
The exam scripts were all done in the middle of last week but as usual, there had been lots of things to do, so this blog had to be put aside for a while. Now, Mama hopes starting this week things would get back to Mama's normal routine and would allow Mama to write something here.
Now let's back to the topic here.
On the 3rd day of Syawal, Hana, my second youngest stepdaughter, got engaged. When she studied in Johor, she met this guy who lived in the same neighbourhood.

As usual, lots of food to choose from

 Well, Mama reached Amirah's house (Amirah is Mama's youngest stepdaughter), the future bridegroom and his family were already on their way there. Hana was frantic because her aunt and uncle (who was supposed to be the spokesperson for her) were also on the way (from Pasir Putih) and stuck in a traffic jam!
However, they managed to arrive on time and Mama also heaved a sigh of relief because at the time Mama was the only 'adult' there and Mama was hopeless at this kind of thing.

The children playing with their sis-in-law's Tab. The boy and girl in red are Sis A and Bro H's nephew and niece.

Abah's sister and her husband (the spokesperson)

The children's aunt (Abah's sister) and Kak Long (their half sister)

The future bridegroom's family with their 'hantaran' (gifts)

Since the mother couldn't make the long trip, one of Hana's future sis-in-law put the ring on Hana's finger

The engagementt ring

While the engagement ceremony took place in the living room, the children were having fun in Amirah's room

Hana and her future husband, Ridzwan.

Bro H and his nephew (who is one year older than him by the way)

Abah's younger brother (in grey shirt) surrounded by his nieces, wife and children.

Bro H and Sis A's elder half-brothers (Hazi and Faiz) after the guests had gone home.

Prints on our hearts

Some people come into our lives and quickly go . Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts . And we are never , ever the same any more.

Pain

Mama had a restless night on Friday because Mama's fingers and wrists acted up again. And when Mama rummaged through her handbag for relief, she was dismayed to find that her medicinal supply had run out. This morning, Mama had a slight fever because of that unbearable pain. The house was also  in a mess because Mama had no energy to run after those two boisterous children and when they quarrelled, Mama just let them be. When the pain got worse in the afternoon, Mama forced herself to drive to the local pharmacy to get this.



It was very difficult negotiating the corners because Mama had to grip the steering hard with two (very painful) hands. Today was Saturday so finding a parking was indeed a problem. Luckily Mama's car is an automatic one. Getting the children to stay put in the car was another problem so Mama had to stop here



and bought them some toys to distract them while Mama made a quick stop at the pharmacy.
Tonight the hands felt better but Mama should not forget to take another pill during sahur tomorrow morning.

Wordless Wednesday

Monica Bay, Kemaman

Yeah, Mama knows.. There are cobwebs here and there in this blog. Please let Mama spend some time to clean the 'house' before sitting down to jot something here. Yes, it nearly a month since Mama's last posting. Mama has lots to share but as usual Mama is either procrastinating or plain lazy or simply doesn't have the time to write. Luckily Pakcik Hassan gave Mama a nudge to start writing again.. thank you, Pakcik!!!
So many things that happened and so many things that Mama and the children did recently and Mama really want to share it here.
First of all, during the two week school hols (which didn't seem like a holiday at all), Mama was at school every day during the first week; for the extra class, meeting, on duty and most importantly, tidying up Mama's desk, and of course Mama's room.
Then Mama, the children, Atok and Nenek went to Kemaman, for a family reunion (Atok's side). This kind of reunion takes place every 2 years but Mama never joined them because of one reason or another. Either Mama was busy with marking exam scripts and meetings or simply because the children were still too young to travel far and to manage.
This year however it was Mama's aunt's family's turn in Kemaman, Terengganu to host the reunion. And it's nearer to Kelantan. And the children are bigger (but no wiser) so Mama was quite excited to go. But it was with some trepidation too. Would Mama's trusty old car be able to endure the strain of the long trip? Would Mama be able to drive long distance? After all it has been years since Mama drove long distance.
But that Friday morning, we set out early, at about 6.30am. It was a smooth and relaxing drive, and we used the still not completed Lebuhraya Pantai Timur (East Coast Highway) and we reached Kemaman at about 11am.
So there we were, in Kemaman. Mama was glad Mama made that trip. For the children's sake and Mama's too. They were very excited going for a long drive. When they fell asleep half an hour into the journey, waking up and fell asleep again from time to time, Sis A would ask, 'Dah sampai Kemaman? (Have we reached Kemaman?)'. They were eager to play at the beach and the playground. This is because a few days prior to the trip, Mama googled the place that we were going to stay at and there it was, the pictures of the villas and also the playground and the beach that was nearby. And that was enough to make the children excited preparing for the trip.
And Mama was also glad we made the trip because Mama got to meet Mama's cousins and second cousins whom Mama had not met for years.In this family, Mama has 3 cousins who are born in the same year as Mama. And the four of us managed to pose for a picture!
Atok's family are all over Malaysia. Mama and family were the second to arrive because Mama's cousin from Johor was already there with her husband. Later the families from KL, Selangor and Kedah trickled in and the place was a riot!!!
We were in Kemaman for 3 days and 2 nights and our Kemaman family had planned everything in great detail. Mama really loved the place we stayed. We also went to the Kemaman Mini Zoo (which is not so mini at all) but Mama will write about it in another entry.
It was an unforgettable trip for Bro H and Sis A and until today Sis A would ask,'Bila kita nak gi Kemaman lagi? (When is our next trip to Kemaman?)'
For more pictures----->
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150917341210768.435346.657250767&type=3&l=23f580ce59

The Gazebo

It has been a routine for Mama and the children to stay overnight at Atok and Nenek's place on Thursday nights. The children always look forward to it because of the goodies there (food and toys). When they get new toys/books/puzzles, Bro H and Sis A tend to drag them along when they are going somewhere.Sometimes it is to Atok and Nenek's place. Sometimes it will be their preschool. That's why most of the toys at TP (our house) begin to disappear from time to time. They (the children) tend to be careless with their toys much so when Bro H starts to create stories while playing (and much to Mama's dismay), his toys would be unrecognisable once he is done with them. Well, as for Atok, he is meticulous and careful with his things. So no wonder the children's toys are intact in his safekeeping because he would only allow them to play with the toys once in a while. When the children came back from their pre-school last Thursday, unquestionably they were pleasantly surprised to see a gazebo standing at the corner of the front yard. Sis A turned to Mama excitedly and said 'Mama, ada house'. They climbed onto the gazebo instantly. Mama is pleased with it too. It is a replica of a traditional one, with real thatched Nipah roof and bamboo floor. It brings a lot of sweet memories when Mama was a child, visiting Mok (Mama's maternal grandmother) at the village. Yesterday, before we came home, Mama managed to nap for a while, being lulled by the gentle morning breeze while the children kept climbing up and down the new structure at their grandparents' lawn. We even had our breakfast there but sorry Mama forgot to take pictures. And today Nenek told Mama that two neighbourhood kids even asked for her permission to sit there while having their snacks. In the old days, this kind of gazebo won't worth a second glance but now it has become hit in the housing area. This reminds us to take good care of our heritage, right?

It has been three years ...

since Abah left us. When Mama was choosing the pictures for this entry, Mama cried silently. Looking at Abah's pictures brings a lot of happy memories. Abah in the car, obligingly posed when Mama asked him to. Abah smiling at the camera barely a week after our wedding. Abah at the optometrist, trying out his new shades. Abah and the children, barely 5 months and one year plus at the time.And lastly, our wedding picture.
Mama was 40 when Abah was (sort of) introduced to her. Abah fell in love with Mama straight away (that's what he told Mama) but Abah was 15 years older and a widower with 6 children. Mama was not even slightly interested. But Abah was determined. He called Mama every night without fail. He told Mama he was sincere to make Mama his wife. He was looking for a wife for him, not a mother for his children so Mama need not worry about the children. Mama was still not interested and even introduced some of Mama's friend to Abah with the hope that Abah would eventually go away. But no, he was still there. As determined as ever.
A month later, Mama dared Abah to come and see Atok and Nenek and ask for Mama's hand in marriage. Mama thought her parents would somehow say no. But Mama was mistaken. Atok and Nenek were so relieved that someone was actually interested in their spinster daughter that they said yes straight away. Mama and Abah was married a month after that and the rest is history.
One of Mama's friends said despite what had happened (Abah's death), Mama is actually a lucky person. When Mama asked her why, she said that after being a single girl for so long, Mama finally got married at 40 (Some people don't get married at all) And not many people are lucky to have babies / children although they got married at a younger age. Despite Mama being an "elderly primagravida" (the doctors kept repeating this term during Mama's pregnancy check ups), we are blessed with a boy and a girl. And Abah didn't spend days in hospitals because God knows that it would be difficult for Mama to care for him with two very young children(Some people spend days and even months in hospitals and takes a toll on the caregivers especially the spouse).
Today marks the third year Abah left us:- Mama, Bro H and Sis A. The children seem to be accepting the fact that there are only three of us in the family. When people ask them about Abah, they'd readily answer, "Abah mati" (Abah is dead). There is no sadness in their voices, they are still too young anyway.
Well, life goes on but being human, Mama sometimes asks herself, the ifs and the hows.

Wordless Wednesday 13

Another Wedding

On Saturday, my stepdaughter, E, got married to his long time boyfriend, Mie. The 'akad nikah' was held at a mosque near their (my stepchildren's) house and then the 'kenduri' (wedding feast) was held later at the bride's house. The following day, Sunday was the 'hari menghantar' to the bridegroom's house in Tanah Merah (which is about 45 km away from Kota Bharu).
From Wikipedia:
A Malay wedding proper begins with the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony. The groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin (mahar,literally 'marriage gold' in form of money or goods or anything as requested by the bride).The mas khawin is a symbol to show that the men is willing and are prepared to build a family with the lady he chose to get married to. The contract signing is done before a religious official and is accompanied by prayer.
For the 'bersanding' ceremony, the couple's hands are dyed with henna during the berinai besar (great henna-ing) ceremony. The bride's hair is also trimmed, eyebrows shaped and make-up applied by a beautician, known as the mak andam. Then the bride puts on her tudung (hijab or headscarf) to cover their hair and a selendang, or embroidered and beaded shawl over that. A crown is also placed on top of the shawl.
The pelamin, the focal point in a malay wedding, where the bride and groom will sit together throughout the celebration.
The actual wedding day is the Bersanding. This literally means the "sitting together of the bride and bridegroom on the bridal couch". Known as the Pelamin, this couch is the centrepiece of the whole ceremony.
After the bersanding ceremony, the wedded couple and their guests attend a celebratory feast called the makan beradab (formal meal). This involves the bride and groom feeding each other sweetened rice. The celebrations are concluded by posing for family photographs.
E was a lovely bride on both days. If Abah were there that day, he would have been very pleased and happy.

Hazi and Family

Last week, Mama and the children went again to visit Fazren Rafiqie and his parents.This time Mama's other stepson and step-daughter-in law came back to Kota Bharu all the way from Alor Setar, Kedah because Hazi (Mama's stepson) had to attend a meeting on Sunday. Their two children (Afqar & Ain) were also there so the kids were having a whale of time running everywhere and harassing Kakak (to Bro H and Sis A) aka Mummy (to Afqar & Ain). Ayu (Mama's step daughter-in law) seemed to miss Bro H and Sis A so much, and they seemed to miss her too. Spending time with them brought a lot of memories and Mama was sure Abah was smiling down on us that day.

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I added cool smileys to this message... if you don't see them go to: http://s.exps.me

God Works In Mysterious Ways

Mama's tears flowed freely tonight. Mama had posted a picture of Mama and Abah on Mama's facebook a few months ago on a whim. It was nothing fancy. About a month after our wedding, Abah had come to Mama's school just to have brunch together during recess. One of Mama's students took a picture of us with her friends.
Mama could see Abah was happy in the picture and Mama could see Mama's face was glowing too.
Today Mama's step-daughter-in-law commented how happy Abah was in the picture and this has spurred more comments from Mama's friends. One comment made Mama's eyes filled with tears.

Ayu wrote: "he left u his most precious amazing children. sepasang lg (a pair)!! i knw u're a strong lady. "

Yes, again and again Mama was and is very thankful to God for blessing Mama with two beautiful children and for letting Mama feel loved by a husband, albeit temporarily.
GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

Memories are made of these...

Sometimes we prefer not to dwell on some memories lest they bring heartaches and tears. Mama always try to avoid all those familiar places that Mama and Abah used to frequent because they always remind Mama of him. Mama is only human and sometimes Mama dreads of going back to Abah's kampung (hometown) because the place and the people there always reminded Mama of Abah's absence. It has been nearly 3 years when Abah left us but to Mama it will always seem like yesterday.
Today Mama went back to Bukit Abal, a place in Pasir Putih to visit Abah's mother (Mama's mother-in-law). After Abah's death, she went to stay with Abah's youngest sister (a teacher)and her family in Selangor, another state in Malaysia. So we only get to see her once or twice a year, usually during long public or school holidays or during the Eids. She's well into her 80s and her sight and hearing have deteriorated over the years, more so after Abah's death. Abah was his eldest child and Mama guess his death has taken a toll on Siti (all the grandchildren call her by this name, the Arabic word for grandma). While Mama was there at Bukit Abal, Mama went to visit Abah's aunt who lived next door( Siti's younger sister).She suffered a stroke early this year and is wheel-chair bound. And she could not see or hear well at all. You either have to shout or to whisper in her ears.
Later on Mama brought Siti back to Kota Bharu to pay a visit to the new addition to the Bakri clan. It is Mama's first time stepping into that house after Abah's death. The sight of his red car ( Mama thought it has been sold) brought a lump in Mama's throat. Abah breathed his last in an ambulance but that red car was the car he drove that day when he had cardiac arrest.
However, Bro H and Sis A enjoyed themselves very much, running here and there playing with their half-sister and barely acknowledging their nephew. The new parents seem to be adapting well to their new roles and still have the time to entertain their half-siblings.

Fazren Rafiqie bin Faiz Faisal

This adorable boy is the latest addition to the Bakri family and so far, is Bro H and Sis A's youngest nephew. The children and Mama went to visit the mother and the baby last Friday (the new mother is in confinement and now stays at her mother's house). Surprisingly there were two newborns there and Mama was like, errr.. they have twins and they forgot to inform me? Hahaha.. It seemed that two boys were born only a month apart and the older boy belongs to the new mother's elder sister.

We were served Pulut Kuning (yellow glutinous rice) garnished with stripped colourful omelette and chicken curry.

Mama googled and found this website:

http://umidishes.blogspot.com/2011/08/yellow-glutinous-rice-pulut-kuning.html

It explains how to prepare the Pulut Kuning in detail and also other Malay traditional fares as well.